Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Shop and Talk

So, if you can see this,
you can probably see the new Etsy Shop
that I opened to sell my art.

I almost talked myself out of it tonight.

This has been in progress for a while now...
I am just not one to jump in,
I like to research and stew and figure it all out.
I need to have a plan and know what I am getting into,
and usually by then, I have talked myself out of it.

But about 3.5 years ago, something happened to me that has changed me forever.
I welcomed this amazing person into the world, my daughter.
And with her was born a new dream for me.
To stop living in fear and start doing stuff.
Art stuff. That is in my heart. 
I want to be a good mom by being a good person who lives her dreams.
Lead by example as my mom did for me.

It is very busy being a mom and wife and sister and daughter and aunt and...
all the other titles that I have...

But this year on my birthday in August, I decided I would commit to art.
(5 years ago it was to do a triathlon, which I did)

I work full time and that doesn't leave much time, (after 9pm).
This year, my wonderful husband and sister give me a night off every week to "do art".

so far, a couple of series of work have evolved.
Slowly, as I plan and talk myself out of work and then back in...
doing art is a very heady game - for me anyway.
But it is getting easier to battle those mean voices in my head.
Most days I win.

Two weeks ago, while working on something new,
I felt this urge to get rid of the old work, - I am beyond it -
The series was a long progression, and I had finished it - it was like practice
could I still paint after all this time? is it any good?
well - one way to find out - I can let it go and see...
and now I can make way for these new paintings.
I was running out of room to put these new creations -
stacking them up on each other.
And right then I decided it was time to stop making excuses
and start trying to sell some of this stuff.

And I am trying to do things I decide, rather than talk myself out of them.

So for the last couple of art nights, painting has been put on hold
as I framed and set up shop. I am making space to actually be an artist
and stop dreaming.

I am starting to make it real.
Art hanging on the wall in a public place,
and now art on an Etsy site so maybe I can get money for it.
No expectations. Just putting it out there. If it comes back,
I will hang it with pride in my living room.

I told my sister that I needed a stranger to tell me my art is good.
I got that stranger...

Tuesday morning I was on the train drawing in my sketchbook - trees mostly.
This woman across from me says, "You do good art."
I thanked her.
She asked me if I was an artist.
I responded, "I pretend to be."
She looked at me puzzled and repeated that.
I am going to change that answer.
Today it is, "I am working on it."

I don't know when I will be able to answer that question with a yes.
But until then, I am working on it and getting my stuff out there.

thanks for reading and all comments are most welcome!

No comments: